ADVICE FOR LOVERS ON THE SEARCH

If you want someone who’ll make a total fool of himself because he’s so glad to see you, get a dog.
If you want someone who’s always ready to go out any time you ask, Get a dog.
If you want someone who’ll be content JUST to snuggle up and keep you warm in bed, get a dog. (You can always kick him out of the bed and make him sleep in the laundry room if he snores.)
If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him, and never says
“Why can’t you make it like Mom did?” get a dog.
If you want someone who can scare away burglars without brandishing a lethal weapon, endangering you (and all the neighbours), get a dog.
If you want someone who will do anything to please YOU, get a dog.
If you want someone to bring in your newspaper without tearing through it first for the sports page, get a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes ANYTHING you do, doesn’t care how bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, and loves you unconditionally, get a dog.
If you want someone who NEVER touches the remote, couldn’t care less about Monday Night Football, and watches teary movies with you as long as you want, get a dog.
AND ON THE OTHER HAND
If you want someone who totally ignores you when you walk into a room, get a cat.
If you want someone who acts as though you are there only to see that HE’s happy, get a cat.
If you want someone who’ll prowl around all night and come home only to eat and sleep all day,
get a cat.
If you want someone who leaves hair all over the place, get a cat.
If you want someone who never comes when you call him, get a cat.
If you want someone who’ll walk all over you, get a cat.
If none of this works for you and your expectations can not be fulfilled, live with and love yourself for a while and see how you get along.
Remember, don’t give up, you always can try to love a goldfish.